And yet God *could* make it result in instant joy or overwhelming peace (he has the keys to the back door of our soul and can make us feel things and I think I probably don't need to convince anyone of this, just remind them that they know it of their own rare experience). It is actually a kindness that he does not generally do that, because otherwise we would do it *for the wrong reason* or at least for much more mixed motives, like a space chimpanzee pushing buttons to get banana-flavored pellets.
I really struggled (and occasionally still struggle) with the seeming discongruity between "I forgive you" and "I am still mad". But, at least in my experience, God has put me through the fire without any consolation so that when I *do* experience that consolation, I know it can only be from Him. So forgiveness is a lot like love in that it's a choice and the act of choosing has to be followed up with other actions that coincide with that. Love grows by doing acts of love, forgiveness grows by choosing not to be bothered.
I don't know what I'm saying. TL;DR, "Yes, And". I agree, and also, the rest of that.
There is a complex sort of string quartet of "I have not forgotten what you did because that would be imprudent", "I am not going to seek revenge (why would I?)", "my happiness does not depend on what you do or whether you will ever change, but on my being a beloved child of God", "because I accept your being the way you are, you have no 'do this and I will simulate love / do that and I will punish you with disapproval' power over me / I am free to love the you of today instead of being blinded by the imagined you I think you should become".
> It doesn’t result in instant joy.
And yet God *could* make it result in instant joy or overwhelming peace (he has the keys to the back door of our soul and can make us feel things and I think I probably don't need to convince anyone of this, just remind them that they know it of their own rare experience). It is actually a kindness that he does not generally do that, because otherwise we would do it *for the wrong reason* or at least for much more mixed motives, like a space chimpanzee pushing buttons to get banana-flavored pellets.
I really struggled (and occasionally still struggle) with the seeming discongruity between "I forgive you" and "I am still mad". But, at least in my experience, God has put me through the fire without any consolation so that when I *do* experience that consolation, I know it can only be from Him. So forgiveness is a lot like love in that it's a choice and the act of choosing has to be followed up with other actions that coincide with that. Love grows by doing acts of love, forgiveness grows by choosing not to be bothered.
I don't know what I'm saying. TL;DR, "Yes, And". I agree, and also, the rest of that.
There is a complex sort of string quartet of "I have not forgotten what you did because that would be imprudent", "I am not going to seek revenge (why would I?)", "my happiness does not depend on what you do or whether you will ever change, but on my being a beloved child of God", "because I accept your being the way you are, you have no 'do this and I will simulate love / do that and I will punish you with disapproval' power over me / I am free to love the you of today instead of being blinded by the imagined you I think you should become".